Thoughts for January 2019

It’s here.  Happy New Year to one and all. It’s been an incredibly busy and festive holiday season at our house this year. Lots of people, lots of food, lots of merriment, and lots of cheese.  I don’t get it, but it seems everywhere we went there was lots and lots of cheese.
So what’s going on in you life on the first day of a new year?  Most of probably made some resolutions for 2019 – I want to lose weight, or I want to find a partner or have a better relationship with my current partner, or be more benevolent towards my fellow creatures, drink less, quit smoking , exercise more, read more, eat better – the list goes on forever.  OK, so how many of us broke our resolutions already?  Does the enormity of say quitting smoking – cold turkey – on January 1st overwhelm?  Does the thought of actually getting out to social events to meet new people frighten you?  Are you already making excuses for not getting off the couch to go for that walk you promised you’d do every day?
January 1st is all about new beginnings, but if we approach these beginnings with unreal expectations and little or no planning and little or no motivation then we are destined to fail in our attempts to make ourselves better people.  What’s that saying?  Success is 10% inspiration and 90% perspiration. I might not have it exactly, but without putting in the effort, we’ll never lose weight by not getting off the couch.
 We’ll never find a partner to dance with if we never go to the dance.  We’ll never improve our relationship if we just wait for our partner to change on their own.  Brian always talks about “Continuous Improvement”.  He admits he’s far from perfect – a sentiment I couldn’t agree with more, but he does make the effort to make himself better today than he was yesterday.  Of course his growth is never a straight line of continuous improvement – there are many days when he slides or periods when there is no growth at all, but then there are spurts here and there that make up for it.
My point is not to impose new rules on yourself that you will almost certainly not be able to keep.  Quitting anything cold-turkey is difficult and even dangerous.  Talk to your health-care provider and work on a plan.  If it’s quitting smoking, try any of the cessation products out there to help with the withdrawal symptoms.  Don’t expect to get off the couch and start walking 10 kilometers a day.  Even walking around the block is a start.  Don’t agree to everything your partner says they want you to change to improve your relationship.  It works both ways, and maybe just having an open and honest conversation with each other is a realistic starting point. Don’t obsess with trying to find a partner and don’t rely on Craig’s List or dating sites.  Try a class or a club that interests you.  If you meet someone  at least you both have at least one-thing in common.
Lastly, I cannot stress the importance of learning to love yourself, to be at peace with who you are.  Any successes you have with your resolutions will be made all the more difficult if you have not learned to accept and love who you are.  It is the cornerstone of any self-improvement plan that has a chance of succeeding.
Happy New Year Everyone!
In appreciation and Gratitude,
Karen Egoff

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.